We often think that we have forgiven those who wronged us. There is no more bitterness within us. But without realizing it, it is still hidden in the depths of our hearts. Without realizing it, it becomes a hindrance of our spiritual growth; unknowingly, it erodes our spirit flame, and without knowing it, it disrupts our fellowship with God and each other. The question we must answer is: Have we forgiven people who wronged us?
So what should we do? How can we know with certainty that we have forgiven or not? Is there a parameter that we can use to measure it? There is! You can measure it by asking a few questions below and answer honestly.
- Is there any ‘sting’ that hurts when you think of the person or that painful event?
You’re having a conversation with another person and suddenly that conversation reminds you of the event or the person who has hurt you in the past. Then you feel a little tightness in the chest or dizziness in the head, like there is a sting that stinging you. Every time you think of the person or that event you become angry or sad, your emotions are disturbed. If that what you experience then it indicates that you have not completely forgiven because the things are still bothering your life.
- Is there any intention/thought to retaliate if there is a chance?
If you still have intention/thought to retaliate if there is a chance, it shows that you have not completely forgiven. People who have forgiven would not think to take revenge because revenge is only owned by people who haven’t forgiven.
- Are the past mistakes still emerge if there is a trigger? And when it emerges, is there still any sting?
It happens a lot in a husband-wife relationship. Often one thing happens and it draws all the past mistakes and make the atmosphere becomes hotter. It shows that we have not completely forgiven. If we have completely forgiven, then the past mistakes that emerge in our memory will not increase the temperature of our emotions.
- Are there any obstacles in building a healthy relationship with the person who hurts us?
After the incident the relationship with our brothers become disturbed. We do not want to talk again with him, we avoid him. It shows we have not completely forgiven. People who have forgiven his relationship will return to normal, as if nothing has ever happened.
Tips for cleansing:
If the Holy Spirit reminds a person, events, or hurtful words when we pray, do not just cry! Immediately do the cleansing by releasing forgiveness in detail until the entire roots of bitterness are uprooted completely. Until you feel peace and joy in your heart and mind.
Have we forgiven people who wronged us? I hope you have tested it with the questions above so that you can truly become a person who is free from all bitterness and continues to experience unlimited spiritual growth.
Also read: The Causes Why Someone is Difficult to Forgive.